


Daryl's Smile

by TWDObsessive



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Laughter, Love Confessions, M/M, Memories, Smile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 14:17:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/TWDObsessive
Summary: Rick thinks about the times that Daryl has smiled.  They are few and far between.





	Daryl's Smile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lotr58](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotr58/gifts).



> This little one-shot was born from a conversation with lotr58 about Norman Reedus' smile. Did you ever notice that when he's posing he always keeps his mouth shut when smiling? I think he must be self conscious of his smile or something. Anyway, that made me think about Daryl's smiles. And how rare they are.
> 
> Beta'd by and gifted to lotr58.

Ever since the beginning it was rare to see Daryl smile. He was so defensive in those early days. Always scowling, as if he was sure everyone was going to hate him so he was going to proactively hate them back first. His often misplaced fury seemed to keep everyone at bay.

Somehow, his energy drew me in that very first day. He cursed at me, stared me down, and threw squirrels at me, but something about his heat and passion clawed at me. I wanted to get in that head of his. I wanted to soothe that anger. 

His tears for his brother were real and heartbreaking and I’d already started hating myself for leaving a defenseless man trapped in Atlanta, no matter how much of an asshole he was. I knew in a heartbeat we’d be out on the road together, heading back to Atlanta in the morning.

And we were, bringing Glenn and T-Dog along to help. That entire mission had Daryl serious and focused, but I saw the hint of a first smile.

“Hey, kid. What did you do before all this?” Daryl had asked Glenn.

“Delivered pizzas. Why?”

I made eye contact with Daryl then, both of us impressed with the young man’s skill. We nodded to each other and there was the barest movement of his lip that implied the thought of a smile and I wondered instantly what that would look like on the feisty redneck.

The CDC was the first real one. We were safe, a roof over our heads and food to fill our bellies. We celebrated with drinks and Daryl had tied one on -- laughing with the rest of the group and smiling. It softened him, opened him. His laugh was something I’d ache to hear again for years. Smiles don’t come easy during the end of the world. And laughter is even more rare. 

He covered his smile over the years as if he felt he didn’t deserve the right to feel happiness and it broke my heart. We spent years together becoming a family, becoming bound to one another, and still he felt like he was an outsider. 

I took him in under my wing, much to Shane’s chagrin. Wanted him to feel a bigger part of the team and he played his part well, searching for Sophia like it was his sole mission in life. He had a soft spot for children. If I hadn’t learned that already from seeing him with Sophia and Carl, I’d have found out for sure once my daughter was born. 

Another real smile. He was unable to hide it with Judith’s small body in his strong arms. It was around then that I realized I had a strong drive to make this man happy. It was _important_ to me. It had become my mission in life. By that point, with Shane gone, Daryl was my shadow. He followed me and I followed him and we’d almost merged into one person. He’d learned me. Learned my nods and my body language, learned my thoughts and inclinations. And I learned him. I knew his every move before he’d make it. I could read paragraphs of meaning in just a look.

We had a brief reprieve from the horrors of the apocalypse at the prison. Once we’d taken in the Woodbury folks, we seemed to be living an actual life. Everyone started to admire Daryl and the man was clearly not used to that kind of positive reinforcement. I’d seen Carol teasing him about it one afternoon and it brought out that shy smile. He wore it awkwardly and turned to try to hide it from her.

When we reunited on the road, Daryl offering his life for mine, I was overwhelmed with love for him. The best I could come up with at the time was “brother”. But to me he was a soul mate. There were no smiles that dark night. And none during Terminus or after Beth. So much time goes by without a reason for a smile. Even after finding Alexandria he was cautious and reserved. 

When Negan took him away from me, it ripped me apart. It broke my soul and stole my strength. I was a shell, empty and fragile. I finally told him that I loved him when he returned to me that day at Hilltop. I whispered it in his ear as we clung together, both overcome with emotion.

That night I knew it was time. I needed him to know how much I loved him, how much I needed him. We sat alone outside, a fire between us, both unable to find sleep.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you,” I finally said after long minutes of our comfortable silence.

“Ain’t nothin’ you did wrong. There weren’t no way to break me out without risking your life, too.”

I tapped at the fire with a stick and the embers swelled red and hot, lighting up his silhouette in an orange glow. 

“I should have. My life isn’t worth anything without you here.”

Daryl looked over at me and held my gaze. He had a way of doing that for just a beat too long. Longer than a friend would meet eyes with a friend, more like the gaze of a devoted lover.

“I meant what I said,” I told him. 

Daryl blinked and nodded. “I love you too, man.”

He didn’t understand the depth of my meaning. I didn’t love him like I loved Maggie or Aaron or Carol. I loved him like...a lover.

“No, not like that,” I confessed. “I’m _in_ love with you.” I put a hand on his knee tentatively.

He did not shy away from my eyes. He blinked back the start of tears and took a breath that he must have been holding for years. He dropped his head down and slid his hand over mine and squeezed. And I was able to read him, I always could, so I scooted closer and kissed his temple until he looked up at me.

I leaned into him and pressed my lips to his. His willingness was evident immediately in the way he parted his lips for me, his hand moving onto my knee. We kissed passionately to the sound of a crackling fire and a field of night crickets singing their song.

Afterwards, his mouth tilted up in that lopsided shy smile of his and I wondered how many times I’d be able to tease more of them out of his lips in the months and years to come.


End file.
